We live in an age of absolutes. We have political parties who won’t support another party’s position just because it isn’t theirs, even when it is right. If we choose to not support a given cause then we are considered to be against it, even though we might be generous contributors to some other cause. When we drive it seems we are either rushing down the road like we’re on our way to a fire, or sitting at a traffic light checking the messages on our phones that came since the last red light.
Our Subaru came with a gauge on the dashboard that gives a visual reference as to whether we are “using gas” or “saving gas.” “Using gas” goes all the way to the 6:00, or “minus” position, while “saving gas” goes to the 12:00 or “plus position. When I am driving down a level road at a reasonable speed, the needle is horizontal at the 9:00 position, which in goldilocks terms means “just right” territory. But the scale between all the way “plus” and all the way “minus” is a continuum. When we first bought the car I became fixated on that gauge, mostly because I was surprised at how often it was pegged to the “minus” position and how seldom it hovered in “plus” territory. Sometimes the gauge just has to go into the Minus zone, like when pulling away from a traffic light, merging onto a freeway or going up a hill. But other than that, I have adjusted how I use the accelerator in order to keep that needle from “hitting bottom” any more than necessary.
This will sound silly, but in many ways that gauge has literally changed my life. That visual reference has taught me that the gas pedal is a control, and not an on/off switch.
My son Kevin has a term for people who pay attention to things and people around us. He calls us “observers.” I like that term because it is descriptive but not a label. Being an observer is both a blessing and a curse. Being an observer lets us experience things around us that other people overlook, for all the various reasons that people overlook things. Being an observer also makes us see all the things that people do that make us angry. One of the things I observe is how often people appear to live their lives either “off” or “on.” And for me that often manifests itself in how people drive.
I see that little needle as an analogy for the way I live my life, and I guess I project it on others as I imagine them running around with their personal needles pegged on Minus. This feeling is especially prevalent on my drive to work in the morning, as we move from one stop light to the next, all of us ending up in the same place, just in a somewhat different order. Some people race to get to the light sooner, and just have to wait longer for it to change. Others roll up to the light just as it is getting ready to change, but it’s the same cars each time. I guess in many ways I’m playing the role of the tortoise vs. the hare, but I learned long ago that no one gives out prizes for being the first person into the office in the morning. And they don’t serve cocktails to those who are still in the office at 6:00. When I leave for the day, I do so with the confidence that it will be there when I get back. Right where I left it the day before. It’s funny how that works.
So where did the title come from? I was thinking about the fact that people seem to know only two settings on their cars – “go” and “stop.” I was thinking about the fact that I can choose how hard to press the gas pedal – that it is a control that allows me to add gas gradually instead of just mashing it to the floor, instead of an off/on switch with only two settings. And I choose to live my life somewhere between the Plus and Minus settings. Sometimes it’s OK to peg the needle one way or the other, but things seem to run more smoothly when I keep the needle in the middle. And I guess I just find myself happier when my personal needle spends more time on the Plus side of the scale than the Minus.
Beautiful images and wonderful writing. I like the analogy. I don’t have a little needle in my car but my driving style is exactly as you’ve described your own. And I drive this way for the same reasons as you.
May I suggest that the act of observing is neither a blessing or a curse. I would say it is our judgement of what is observed that makes observation appear to be one or the other. I know it’s difficult to disassociate our opinions from what we see but what I do is observe not only what is going on around me but also what is going on in my head (both the good and the bad). I’m not sure if that makes sense but I find that it provides a much more relaxed experience. As an observer to the opinions and judgements that pop up, I feel like I don’t own them, I feel more detached. I don’t always remember to do this but with practice it has become easier over time. Anyway this might not be for you but I thought I’d share.
Thanks for a great article. And the photos are all truly beautiful.
Cedric, I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. As you know, I write in part to explore my own feelings about a subject, and the comments from you and others serve to – in a manner of speaking – challenge or confirm those feelings. I know exactly what you mean about the act of observing not being a blessing or a curse, but I often wish it was easier for me to “turn off” the observations, or as you say “detach” them. I have a lot more practicing to do, but find that the approach you suggest is far better than allowing them to affect my day.
Often finding myself in one of those groups of automobiles moving together at different rates from stop light to stop light I had to smile while reading this insightful post, Tom. In full disclosure, I’ve been on either end of that group spectrum at times and I agree it’s less stressful being somewhere mid-range.
Cedric’s assessment of observing/observer are much more eloquently stated then my feeble efforts would have been. So dido! 🙂
Wonderful series of beach photos. Just the right combination of detail and nebulous form for my taste. Very nice!
Thanks, Earl. I agree that Cedric’s way of stating it seemed “just right.” Like you, I used to feel like the people I’m referring to now. I thought I needed to be passing everyone in sight, never realizing that we were all eventually going to end up in the same place anyway! What I don’t want to be is that geezer driving slowly in the left lane with my turn signal on. As long as I stay above that level I think I’ll be OK!
I prefer the middle or plus side of the needle. Although I have pegged the minus a couple of times. I also like your analogy. I’ve in the pack you mention. When I I do arrive at the stop light those who arrived earlier have already read three text messages and gave their Facebook Status. I do neither as my phone is put away.
My struggle is observing and then judging. I do much better when I observe then assess myself. 🙁
I tend to rationalize it as “projecting” my opinions of others’ behavior, but you’re probably correct. I’m judging, like it or not.
Having just returned from a 7,000 mile sojourn, all of the things that cause “plus” or “minus” conditions are fresh in my mind. While my Jeep also came equipped with a readout of which “zone” I was in, I have to admit that I wound up turning the damn thing off. Very quickly, in fact. I decided that I didn’t need it to know that accelerating onto an entrance ramp or away from a stop sign or light or going up a hill was going to use more gas than cruising down the highway at 60 mph. And a lot more than on those happy occasions when we were going downhill. Nope – didn’t need it. I figured my internal gauge was a good enough metric.
I realize that this has little to do with the point you’re making, but I hadn’t thought about that darned gauge since I turned it off. So I had to chuckle a little bit.
Very nice abstractions, by the way. I especially like the third one.
We’ve never been to Hilton Head. Is it a place worth visiting for a few days? Or is it a place that caters mostly to golfers and affluent tennis players? We just thought it might be a good spot to visit this Spring………
Hi Paul –
If you decide to visit Hilton Head any time be sure to let me and Kathy know. We might even decide to head down that way while you are there.
A lot of people have the impression that Hilton Head is ritzy, and in many ways it is. In general you’ll pay a bit more to stay there than at other beaches along the North or South Carolina coasts, but we think it’s worth it.
There are definitely places to spend one’s money if that’s the goal, but there are plenty of other things to do as well. We have our favorite restaurants on both ends of the scale. The thing we like the most about Hilton Head is the beach. We usually rent a place in Palmetto Dunes, which is in one of their “gated” plantations. That means that the only people on the beach are those who are staying in one of the villas, so it’s generally pretty quiet.